I often make mistakes, sometimes over and over again until I eventually understand the universe is trying to tell me something and I eventually get the message – the valuable learnings, so I can move forward.  I have a tendency to attract the ‘mack truck’ kind of experiences - you know, the ones that hit you smack bang right in the face, hard and it hurts like hell.  I’ve started to learn much more quickly and read the signs now before I get run over. I hear the voice within, feel in my senses and my intuition but I don’t always listen…

I strive to be the best parent I can be and struggle not to blame my parents for fucking it up for me. I remind myself they taught me what NOT to do as a parent, so I’m ok, I know they did the best they can and for their efforts, I am grateful. My kids love me unconditionally and while it’s not always easy, we manage and we have a lot of fun. Like most mums, I’d do anything for my children and can’t imagine my life without them, they are the teachers, they are the wise ones in my world.

Every day, a little bit more of my heart is forgiven for leaving my marriage instead of sticking it out and working it out. Every day I send him love and hope my childrens father doesn’t hate me for changing our family.  And every day I am grateful I have had the opportunity to explore who I really am as a woman since then.

Throughout this journey I have taken on my own, I’ve learned many things and experienced even more… Who I am, what I want, what I am capable of and what I am not. I’ve discovered who my real friends are and who is most important to me and what it means to be a girlfriend – loyal, strong, nurturing, compassionate, happy! I’ve decided I’m still learning how to be a great girl-friend.

I seek no validation, nor fame. I want freedom to be me, as a warm hearted mother and spirited lover. I desire the peace of mind that comes from speaking my mind and being present with my emotions. I want freedom to be emotional without excuses or hiding behind a veil of bravery – for I know my strength comes from my ability to release, realise and accept how I feel.

What I want for myself is a sense of knowing that I am equanamous with mother nature and that I am the same life force that thrives in her.  The feeling that I am indeed, powerful beyond measure but I don’t always feel that kind of power… In fact, sometimes I feel completely powerless and full of pain.  When I watch TV or see the atrocities that are committed in the world against women and children, I realise I am not alone, we women have a long way to go till we are free… Free from what? Ourselves and the walls we have built over centuries of hiding and denigration?

We no longer have the fear of burning at the stake - at least not in this country but we still live with fear – fear of being a deeply loving sexual goddess, fear self of expression and speaking our truth, even if our love is at risk. I’m an ordinary woman, I want what every woman wants – to feel like a woman one who can and does harness the power of the greatest mother of all – mother earth.

Every now and then I get a glimpse of  mother earth connection and it brings me back down to earth, literally pulling me down to the core of who I am, the core of the earth.  I am most grounded and at peace when I am connect with the core. My connection with the earth mother makes we want to run wild and naked through the woods howling with joy and a sense of freedom – but if I did that, run like the wolves, would I still be an ordinary woman?

I don’t want to hide behind the cloak of that which I have created but to not hide, leaves me open to explore uncharted territory… Do I dare go where the wise women before me have gone? Do I reach up, reach out, speak up and dare to shout out from the roof tops what I actually want… Do I even know what that really is?

I wonder if other ordinary women feel the same as me? Do they too want to scream from the roof tops and be set free? Do they KNOW without a doubt, of the feeling of wonderment, wildness, willingness and wisdom that resides within their heart and have they too lost their key to unlock the mysteries of womanhood?

Do other women want more from life, to unleash the suppression that lies heavy in their hearts? Do they know the great love of source and  spirit resides within them?

I am an ordinary woman, but I FEEL so much, so deeply, with complexity that leaves me bewildered, enriched and sometimes confused and scared. I FEEL so much love and yet, shy away from the love of others. I play a dance of openness and close up when it’s not comfortable for me to be so vulnerable.

I know how to surrender and open myself to vulnerability, I understand my strength when I am vulnerable and open like a flower… But if I question myself, do I really know how to fully surrender? Would I have not run like the wolves by now? Would I have not spoken up and stood out and shouted from the roof tops, my hearts desires?  Would I have not challenged this very world we women live in?

Would I have not screamed my fucking lungs out, with the greatest intensity during a session with my lover? If I was supposed to be fully surrendered, why would I have ever held back?

I am an ordinary woman, I live with passion and wishes fulfilled, I have desires and hopes and some of my dreams are so far, left unfulfilled… Marianne Williamson said it best in her book ‘A return to love’, we are powerful beyond measure, when we shine our light, we give others permission to also shine….

So anything less than me being EXTRAORDINARY, isn’t me being myself, isn’t me leaving my mark on this world. It is certainly not me being everything I know I am…. I am extraordinary, I just know it, I always have been.

You are just like me, you feel it, don’t you? Won’t you join me and be extraordinary too… The great mother earth, our world and the women in it, need us to be more – more of everything we know we are already…. It’s time to surrender and unleash!

Everything we discuss here is covered in The Goddess Retreat – you are not alone, you never will be. Nothing you experience as a woman ever has to be misunderstood, never has to be left unforgiven… Begin your journey today and join us.  CLICK HERE for dates and details.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

All Rights Reserved (C) 2011

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This is dedicated to my girlfriends, you know who you are!

Yesterday I called a girlfriend for a chat, I really needed to hear her opinion on something I’d decided on. When I called I said, “hey hon, have you got a minute, I just want to run something by you”, she said sure. So off I went on my rant and shared all sides of the dilemma with her. At some stage she mentions she ‘just getting a brazillian now’ and continues to support me and my decision making process – all the while having hair ripped out of her body….

Now I don’t know if you have ever had a ‘Brazillian’ but they bloody hurt like hell and even under the extremes of pain, she was there for me, to hear me and support me… God I love her and that is why, to this day, she continues to be my friend after 27 years.

A good friend will always be there for you, no matter what is happening. She will support you, share her honest opinion and make you ‘pull you head in’, when you need that too.

There was a time just recently when my beautiful lover told me he wanted to be with me ‘forever’. Now me, being in the middle of my struggle to let go and allow vulnerability to reign, said in response, “there’s no such thing as forever, how about we just do this for as long as we can”… God I’m a dickhead!!!  I witnessed the immediate deflation of his enthusiasm and his energy withdrew, just like that. And then of course I tried to redeem myself with a rambling because I realised what I had done to his sense of romance and commitment to me… ouch!

Later, I told my girlfriend (the same one) what I had said in response to him (you see us girls do share our thoughts and happenings with our besties) and she gave me a royal kick up the arse… It went something like this “Jesus Janelle, you’ve waited so long for a man like him to come into your life, wake up to yourself, can’t you just let him love you, get the fuck out of your head and just allow yourself to be romanced and loved”!!!

WOW, had I been told… And of course, she was exactly right. It was exactly waht I needed to hear.  I didn’t need permission to be so incredibly in love or loved but I did need to let my guard down so I could experience the full enrapture of loves power and force. The guard or wall around my heart, I didn’t even know was there (well I did but it’s more easily recognised by others, perhaps it’s because of their own reflection)..

Anyway, it was a relief to knock down the wall and a conversation with my lover on my ‘findings’ had me allowing vulnerability and going with the flow of ‘forever’… Imagine that, forever in love! My relationship immediately benefited from my arse kicking, thanks to the courage of my girlfriend. Not only did she see what I was unwilling to see, she had the courage to tell me so. Blessed I say, blessed!

My point? A real girlfriend is the one who is not afraid to kick your ass and tell you to pull your head in. She is loyal and willing to risk the friendship in order to speak the truth. She is forgiving and accepting of all of you and tolerant of other things. She embraces your family, children and other friends (even if she doesn’t really like them that much), she respects your decisions even if she doesn’t understand them and does so without judgement.

The real girlfriends are the ones you can trust with your secrets, your ideas and your dreams. She holds sacred the ‘vault’ and honours what you have to offer as your own. She does not bend the rules of the vault you share.

A real girlfriend cries with you when you are grieving and then helps pull you out of it as best she can. She will ask you if you want a ‘shoulder’ or advise and listens to you either way. She checks in on you when you’ve been silent and reminds you of the good times you’ve shared when you need a laugh. She shares her knowledge and memories of you with your children and reminds you of who you really are, where you’ve come from and where you are headed… She is a memory bank for those you leave behind.

She walks alongside you in the journey of life – giving and taking, sharing, laughing, enjoying good and bad times. She talks to you during a waxing session and jumps to the rescue when you are feeling down or wanting fun and myschief. She is willing to run to your side when you need a hand and laughs at you when you are being silly.

She is a member of your tribe, the community of women you hold sacred and close. She is essential. For a long time or a short time, good friends keep us alive and well and hold us accountable for being real, they leave their mark and provide us with lessons and learnings, they are priceless and precious.

Friendships you are passionate about energise you and give you freedom to be authentically you. They give you someone to love when there seems to be no love in your life but them.  They provide a reflection for you to see and experience ‘who you really are’. What you see in them is in some way, a reflection of how you see yourself, for that, we should be grateful and appreciate every moment.

If you have a special friend that you honour and respect, tell her today. If you have women in your life that you’d like to be closer to, do something for them and tell them you want a friendship with them, they want friendship too. If you have a friend you’ve not spoken to in a while, call her – she needs you. If you haven’t told your friend how much you love her in a while, tell her now. If it’s been like ‘forever’ since you got your girls together for some valuable ‘girl time’ do it now, every woman needs the support of the little tribe you have. If there is a woman who needs a little extra care and support right now – invite her into your tribe and care for her.

There is no reason on earth why a woman should ever feel alone or lonely. We are communal by nature, it’s in our primal nature to be in communities of other women…

What are you doing to nurture your tribe, your friendships, yourself?

I invite you to join Top Secret Women’s Business for any of our upcoming events so you can make new friends, join a growing tribe of like minded women and feel supported, loved and free- You may just enjoy a little fun along the way…

Cherish your girlfriends with insatiable passion and nurture your sacred feminine spirit as you do so…

For some SERIOUS Girltime, check out this event:

http://topsecretwomensbusiness.com/events/ladies-pamper-expo-tm/

Yours Real & Raw,

Janelle Manton

Director, Top Secret Women’s Business Pty. Ltd

All Rights Reserved 2011 ©

If you wish to repost this article, please do so only if you wish  to credit the author

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Talk or Walk

Well if my past experience is any indication, then i’d say it’s ‘make it’ or ‘break it’ important. If you don’t share a mutually clear understanding of your thoughts, feelings, desires, wants and needs with your partner, so much so, it reveals who you really are, then you may as well stop torturing yourself and end it right now… Or do something about it.

Why? Because anything less than sharing your true thoughts and feelings and discussing the really hard stuff head on, is not enjoying an authentic real relationship… What you have instead is a surface attempt at being close; it has no long term sustainability and depth of fulfilment and has no room to grow.

If you are not a talker, you probably think you can mind read. Very few people on the planet are blessed with the ‘mind reading gene’ and unfortunately, if left to your own devices for too long, you might start to think you CAN mind read, or worse…. You expect to be mind read by others, especially our partner.

Not talking causes people to think they can mind read and they often make false assumptions that cause problems in a partnership. When you take out the guess work and ask questions and exchange dialogue, you get more of what you want and you hear the truth… And there is then, no room for misunderstandings and miscommunication.

Can you imagine what kind of disease and confusion mind reading can cause? Especially when most people who mind read cannot, at all!

So the first step to being a talker is to STOP MIND READING and ask questions to find the truth.

I realise talking about anything is much easier to say then actually do for some people. A lot of adults grew up in families where everything got swept under the rug, parents didn’t talk to each other, fathers didn’t talk to their kids, and mothers didn’t teach her daughter how to be women… Nothing much was said at all, perhaps it’s still like that in your family?

So how do you get exceptionally good at communication, if you don’t know where to start? What do you do if it scares you to speak up, or you never have till now?

Understanding a few important fundamentals about communication:

It is the responsibility of the one communicating to get their message across so it is understood as they intended. If a message is misunderstood, repeat it in such a way that it is clearly taken the way you intended, repeat and adjust as needed

Remember that 55% of communication is in your physiology, 38% tonality and 7% is words. This means how you say the words are vitally important. Use your body to convey the message, include meaningful tonality and choose your words carefully.

If you feel fear around speaking up for yourself or sharing your intimate thoughts than it might be time to stretch yourself and start figuring out why. My rule of thumb here is to feel the fear and do it anyway. I will also suggest a coaching session to uncover the root cause or core issue that may be underlying your fears. A coach can help you let go of that ‘stuff’ for good.

Understand that speaking up and saying how you really feel is you being you’re true and real self, so what could possibly be wrong with that? When you speak your truth and share your deepest heart’s desires, you are revealing an intimate part of who you are and the more you choose to do that, the more powerful you become and the greater your self esteem and the more innately confident you are.

When you share your thoughts your partner will also see the real you and not a fragment of whom you are. You then give him or her, the opportunity to love all of who you are. Imagine just being yourself, not an edited version? I can tell you it’s much easier and less exhausting just being you, fully revealed. And your partner will love you for it.

So there you have it… It’s time to talk, enjoy talking with your partner about the things that really matter, because anything less than that is compromising the very woman you are. Communication is a critical part of a relationship, it’s the very thing that tells you how they feel, what they want and need… All essential ingredients to a happier life together.

A mature way to approach a relationship is to talk about everything so you can develop closeness, intimacy and togetherness. Start today. Happy chatting dear lovers… xxx

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

Director Top Secret Women’s Business

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Complacency is when you slow down your efforts and enthusiasm, stop going the extra mile and we get very ‘comfortable’ with life in such a way it eventually becomes boring and we lose interest.  You might even say complacency is giving up… Giving up hope, your dreams, giving up caring…

Not Knowing what you are passionate about is also a major problem because if you’ve never really thought about it, how will you know what to get excited about?  When you figure out what it is that is your driving force, what lifts and elevates your spirit and juices you up, you can live your life with purpose and passion.

Most people who are living their life’s purpose are also living a passionate life and experience happiness, daily!

They love what they do, it doesn’t feel like work and they bounce out of bed daily to jump into it. Not knowing what you are passionate about can leave you feeling flat, lost, stuck and on the treadmill of life…

Fear is completely immobilising but always present for everyone. The difference is when we let fear rule our life very little changes. Fear of what people think, fear of consequences, rejection, failure, fear of the unknown, fear of looking silly in front of your peers… Fear is a killer of passion and will stifle even the most driven people should it be allowed to take over. Kick fear in the butt and do it anyway is what passionate people do!

It’s important to know what kills passion so we can eliminate what stops you from living a full and passionate life.  As I’ve mentioned any times, passion is a driving force, it energises you and gets things done. Someone who is passionate is alluring and confident as they are fearless in going after their dreams. Passion makes you a better lover and able to surrender to the yearnings of your heart. Passion fills you with hope and purpose, excitement and delirious fun filled energy…

So the golden question is –

How do you ignite you passion and get more of what you want in life?

How does passion really help?

Let’s explore the top 3 things you can do o ignite your passions so you can get more done and start producing the results in life you really want!!!!

No 1. Know what you want and understand what it is that fulfils you and what juices you up. When you can spend some time working out exactly what it is you want from life, work, your relationships and YOURSELF you can clearly get passionate about it. A life of purpose is a lifetime of doing what you love, there is no such thing as work when you love what you are doing and ‘who’ you are doing.  So spend some time brainstorming and start narrowing your focus to what you really want.

A great exercise to do at home is to write a simple list of all the things you   want to do, be and have and concentrate your efforts on the few things that         really get you excited.

No 2. Take a spoon full of Courage and do it anyway, regardless of how fearful you feel!  The most important thing is to eliminate fear, simple kick it in the butt and do what you love anyway. So long as you have the greater good in mind and your choices do not negatively impact others (including yourself), then you are on the right track.

A lion’s share of Courage can do wonders for your confidence, your results and the experience you enjoy.  If you find fear prevents you from giving life your best shot then consider it part of the process – Feel the Fear and do it anyway. You’ll find that the fear was unwarranted and not real anyway.

If you have a debilitating fear and need help overcoming it, then ask for help, be willing to live outside the box and take control. You can call me; part of my Passion Pop Experiences is eliminating fear processes so you can get the full ‘pop’ and get on with it – full of passion.

No 3. Take engaged, creative Action. I hate the word action as it seems to minimise what it really takes to do the stuff that truly counts and makes a difference.  Engaged, creative action means to be fully attentive and meaningful in everything you do, think about what you can do differently to make life exciting and full of passion?.

Be mindful of the consequences and what you are creating. DO with purpose and intention. Engaged action is what it takes to maintain passion. If you are just doing the actions it takes to get something done without being mindful, then it’s very easy for those actions to turn into complacency – feeling stuck and on the treadmill of life. So use your imagination and be engaged in the process and take creative engaged actions toward what you want.

An example of this is in your personal relationships you might discover what actions really turn on your partner, so it becomes the thing to do. While it     action started out exciting your lack of creativity and variety causes that action to now be ordinary. Complacency and lack of imagination make your sex life   boring and a lack of interest results = less love making ad boredom… I know that example is a little extreme but you get the picture. Be adventurous and use your imagination!

By eliminating fear, knowing what you want to get passionate about and taking the appropriate actions toward what you want you can easily live with passion and get excited about what you are doing and who you are spending your time with.

Getting passionate about your life can eliminate all kinds of ‘ills’ including depression, loneliness, confusion, desperation, boredom and frustration (to name a few). Think about it for a moment… If you are passionate about what you are doing in your life, career, relationships, with your health, you self, then how does something like depression live in such an environment? How can desperation and boredom exist? If you are passionate and getting out and about ‘doing’ then being lonely is a thing of the past, you’d be meeting people and engaging in life. You’d be genuinely interested in what you are doing and who you are meeting.

When the statistics for men and women suffering from ‘depression’ are so high, there has to be an easy solution to eliminating this modern dis-ease and feeling happy about life once again, right?

I don’t promise a cure because ultimately it’s up to you to decide to change, what I can promise is clarity, solutions and results. Invest in a Passion Pop Experience with me and discover a whole new life full of passion and purpose.

A Passion Pop Experience is great for anyone at a cross-road in life and wants clarity in which direction to take. If you are feeling frustrated in your career, your relationships, have never really ‘allowed’ yourself the freedom of feeling the full expression of your passionate self, then this 1.5 hour session could be just what you need to set yourself free, once and for all!

Book in with me directly by emailing janelle@topsecretwomensbusiness.com your session includes 1.5 hours of experiential passion popping processes to ignite your life and set you on the right path… toward your bright and fulfilling future!

Love your life, because you are worth it!!!

Yours Real & Raw,

Janelle Manton

Director

TSWB All rights Reserved 2011 ©

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There are times in life when not a lot in life seems overly exciting. The couch seems like the better option than standing up to exercise, eating takeaway is easier than making food that is healthy and nutritious.

Your relationship hit a critical mass ‘breakdown’ – neither party is willing to spice things up or talk about real issues, sex is a chore (what the?), housework is even worse and putting any imagination into your life ‘together’ seems futile.

The kids are bored and fighting, work is a burden of dreary ‘good for nothing’ means to an end unmentionables and even your social life fails to excite you… Kill me slowly….

What is going on? Where have the days of loving your life gone?  You used to love your work, now it’s a mundane time consuming pay check.  Your partner used to excite the fuck out of you, literally, now the sight of them makes you want to run for the hills or roll over (even if it’s a temporary ailment, it still occasionally happens) and the thought of excercising and loving your body, increasing your energy and being pumped by life is only something those crazed personal trainers enjoy…

Adventure is out of the question, I mean what is this adventure you speak of anyway? Adventure is for kids, NOT!!!!!!

I could go on here but you get the picture….

The worst part is, even if this ugly picture does not apply to you, there is a little bit of it in all of us, at different times in our life, times when our passion and vavavoom for life has simply melted away…  It’s the stuck state you hate, the treadmill that you want OFF! Well it doesn’t have to last forever…

So what happens, does passion just get up and walk out on us in our time of need?

What stops us from maintaining our passion and lust for the things that are most important to us?

The top 3 Passion killers are:

No1. Killer of passion is COMPLACENCY… When you take your eye off the prize, your eye off the target and stop putting in any effort, complacency kicks in. We get a little too comfortable, a little lazy perhaps, can’t be bothered and seise all passion increasing activities.  When you stop making an effort life starts to resemble a treadmill of monoteny, it’s the same, day in day out and your arch enemy COMPLACENCY thrives in such environments.

No2. Killer of passion is ‘NOT KNOWING’ what you are passionate about. If you have nothing to be passionate about – like a career you love, a partner you adore, a body that excites you, friends who inspire you, hobbies that motivate you, then it may be time to make some decisions and gain some clarity about what you would like to be passionate about instead of maintaining the current status quo. You’ve settled for ‘what is’ instead of deciding what you really want and then going after it. Not knowing can also indicate an unwillingness to explore what is possible. To this I would say, isn’t it time do dare to do something that actually excites you?

No3. Killer of passion is FEAR, fear of getting outside the box and daring to do it, ‘life’ that is. Quite often you are ruled by fear and it’s debilitating claws that you dare not do anything different for fear of the consequences. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being abandon, judged, fear of being broke, fear of what people think…. Sound familiar? Fear has a strong hold over us for many reasons and the fear mongering world we live in only serves to generate more fear…

There are many different reasons why passion can melt – health problems, significant trauma, events of the past that are unresolved, social stigma to name a few more, perhaps you never had it to start with?

In any case, all of these can be healed, repaired, ignited and put back on track with the right help. You can break free of the chains that bind you, you can crack complacency and overcome your fears, you can ignite and discover your passions, I’ll show you how, all you have to do is decide it’s something you need right now.

Passion is for everyone to enjoy, it’s only fair that you enjoy every aspect of your life and live like each day is your last. It’s makes common sense to let go of a past that doesn’t even exist anymore and get on with living a full and over flowing life, but are you?

It makes total sense to do what you love and love who you ‘do’ with absolute crazy passion… Passion makes you feel powerful and if you feel it, guess what, you are powerful.  Passion makes you feel energised, enlivened and enthusiastic. Are you getting enough?

Anything less than you living your life passionately, isn’t you being your full and vibrant, loving and amazing self, isn’t it?  Why would you compromise who you really are?

What can you do today that puts a little more passion back into your life?

What do you need to ‘move away from’ in order to get what you want?

What lengths are you willing to go, to discover what your passions really are?

How would your relationship improve if you popped a little more passion into it?

Ready to breakthrough some boundaries and totally pop with Passion? I can help, all you need to do is say, BOOK ME IN!

Join me (over skype) for a ‘Passion Pop Experience’, it’s a specific way of experiencing a pop into being more passionate in all areas of your life. I will take you on an experiential journey into new territory, so you can feel free to LOVE YOUR LIFE with PASSION!

You will pop through the glass ceiling that currently stops you from feeling the love (in any area of your life). Come Pop with me. Sessions are 1.5 hours and $295AUD Email me you interest and I will schedule your appointment.

Sometimes changing your life is a simple as a POP in your imagination….

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Real & Raw

Janelle Manton

All Rights Reserved 2011 (C)

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How I crave you. Every day my craving grows and expands in a way I’ve never experienced before.  And my cravings are always satiated with your presence… Only to reignite when you are away from me…

I fell in love with you quickly my darling because you are so much like me, you are a reflection of me and how I feel about myself, I see in you. There are times when I wonder about love and if my love for you is more infatuation, an ‘in love and lust’ kind of love and then you sweep me away to yet another paradigm of understandings and depth… another world of something so unconditional I can hardly breath, my love.

Sometimes when you are away I start to doubt myself and my fear of such closeness stifles me.  What if you see all of me and who I really am? What if you don’t think I’m perfect or irresistible?  What if you change your mind about loving me?  I’m slowly unravelling in my trust and when I feel a little uneasy, you have this uncanny way of reassuring me with your open heart and open mind, you see me, dear lover, you hear me dear lover and you embrace all of me… Dear Lover, how I love you.

You allow me to open my yearning heart and yield to its cravings. The delicious ways you open me to universal love is incredibly revealing and raw, it’s who I am and who I have always desired to be but have never achieved entirely on my own…

It’s only in our intimate relations with another that we really see ourselves, this I’ve discovered with you my love – In our reflection we discover who we really are and my blessing today with you, dear lover, is how much I love and adore you, how much I admire your courage to love so openly and honestly, how willing you are to discover the depth of feeling and experience true, unconditional love can bring.

I’m eternally grateful because the very way you love me brings me closer to me, my core, my growing love for me is your true gift.  Thank you dear lover for showing me the way home – to my own heart…. Oh how I crave…

Yours Real and Raw,

Janelle Manton

Top Secret Women’s Business – www.topsecretwomensbusiness.com – Get your free coapy of The Sexier Sex Guide valued @ $27 xxx

All rights reserved ©

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1. Dear Lover – My Astonishingly Extraordinary

I knew beyond a doubt you were on your way to me. There have been so many times in the near past where I’ve felt your energy close by,all this time I have been waiting for you to arrive…

At night I’d sit outside watching the stars wondering what you were doing, thinking about how close you were and yet still so far away.  Sometimes in my frustration and impatience I’d demand you hurry up and do the work so we could be together.  It was those times I realised I was also preparing and making my way to you too.  I often wondered what you looked like and how you smelt, what your hobbies are and who your friends are….

But none of it really mattered. What matters the most was I could sense your energy and you excited and fulfilled me before I even met you. It was the profound connection with your vibration, how we matched, that made it really easy to recognise you when you finally arrived… you are like looking into the mirror into my own soul, that is why I can be so open with you.

What I love the most is how you open me to love. Your fearless enthusiasm and never ending understanding gives the feeling of complete safety to be myself, I feel secure in your presense and knowing you are close. The yearning in my heart is satiated for now because I have you. I know I will continue to demand more of you as we grow together and so the desire to be totally satiated by your love will never be entirely fulfilled. I love that about you, knowing I will always want you…

When we are apart, in the dead of night, I awake to a deep yearning within my body. Only my body is aware of the demands of my lust for you. As I lay asleep, free to feel without distraction, my conscious mind asleep, my body writhes in craving for you to open me to your loving touch. Such is the power of our connection, to be deeply asleep yet so absolutely awakened by my very thought of you…

You have infiltrated my mind, body, spirit, my entire life as I had hoped and prayed you would. I am never left wondering about your feelings and thoughts as you willingly share them with me so as to keep me remaining comfortable and safe in your love. Of course this only serves to make me love you more….

When I think about our future together I am reminded that right here and now is the only moment that counts and my going off on tangents of time not yet enjoyed, is taking me further away from this moment, this moment with you…

It’s this moment that takes my breath away and makes my heart beat faster and my body hunger for you and with this thirst, I simply know I will love you more then, just by the way I love you now…

Dear lover, I am all yours, you are my astonishingly extraordinary twin flame I have waited and prepared for.  I open my heart for you to give you my love and so I may feel your affections and endearing words in return. My body is open to yours in an everlasting bond of wild passion and my spirit is open to yours so I may feel the concentration of our connection beyond any physical realm, way beyond and drink you in…

I am so relieved you found me at this time in my life and opened me to the profound love we share.  This journey we take in experiencing love is a gift of colossal proportions -  One I want to take with you by my side…

Dearest Lover, let us take a walk…

Inspired by my favorite writer, David Deida

With love,

Janelle Manton

Top Secret Women’s Business All rights reserved 2011 (C)



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We’ve all been there… It’s been a long day of work and kids, dropping off, picking up, meeting deadlines, cleaning and sorting, packing up and bathing little people (perhaps you don’t have kids but I know you have still been there)…

And its bedtime, it’s been a few days (or weeks…eeek) and you know you’d like to (and you know without a doubt he wants to)… But you are sooo tired, exhausted even…Where do you get the extra energy to have sex?

How can you possibly go from house mummy, career girl and cleaning lady to sexy diva who feels hot and horny?

Having sex at the end of a long day and feel like such a chore when all you want to do is sleep, but let me remind you honey of the benefits and all the reasons why it’s a good idea to put your best face forward and do it. I’ll even give you some tips to shaking off the day so you can get in the mood.

Firstly, sex creates stress relief when it releases endorphins and loads of feel good hormones into your body.  Ever done a work out and felt totally wired and alive after? Sex can do the same thing.  A good session will help you burn calories and give you some quality time connecting with your partner.

And that names just a few good reasons why you should be having regular sex… Now about that attitude…’ I’m too tired’!  I get it because I’ve been there and expending one more ounce of energy is the last thing on your mind. But listen up, your mind is the biggest sex organ so there are some simple ways to engage mentally much sooner than bed time…

Here are a few HOT Tips for getting in the mood;

• Decide that tonight is the night, regardless of how you feel, once you’ve decided you are already half way there
• Remember that sex is as good for you as it is for your partner (even though he may be the driving force behind doing it tonight) so get it into your head that you also need it and want it like crazy!!!
• Foreplay starts that morning… Arrange with your partner that tonight it’s ‘on’ and start playing all day… Send sexy txt to each other, make some calls that playfully tease and set the tone…
• Mentally engage in setting the mood, light candles, incense, buy some chocolates and strawberries and perhaps a bottle of bubbles, some mood music… making an effort makes the difference!
• Be sure to transition after your work day, shake it off, shower, put something pretty on, fragrance, shower gel, a cute little nightie and continue the tease – BUT LEAVE WORK AT WORK!

The Key to getting in the mood is really wanting the connection for ‘you’ – to satiate your primal needs for surrender and intimacy… Remembering that a good healthy dose of sex will revitalise your spirit and rejuvenate your energy sources too!

You deserve some loving, right? You deserve to feel sexy, like a Woman in love, right? You deserve to feel connection and depth with the one you love? Of course you do…. So quit feeling tired, decide to be a sexy woman, wash away your fatigue with a good romp in the bedroom…

Communicate with your partner what kind of sex you are up for tonight… We all know the difference between a quickie and a full love making session, so decide together if you are in for the long haul tonight or just a quickie to alleviate some tensions.

The importance of this conversation will satisfy you both and reduce any unfulfilled expectations and disappointment – especially if one wants a long loving session as opposed to an early night, you can now negotiate.  I will caution though, a quickie is great every now and then, especially when it’s balanced with long and loving sessions inbetween…

Too many quickies makes your love making lazy and you can become a little emotionally disconnected and that could lead to other negative emotions like resentment, guilt etc…  Men and women both need to feel connection and loved so take the time, plan ahead if necessary and enjoy every juicy moment.

And ladies, if you really are still too tired and nothing is working to get you in the mood… Like the old cliche says, you can always “close your eyes and think of England”! Or simply raincheck and get an early night, either way, you deserve it!

My last suggestion is to get my SEXIER SEX GUIDE – An eBook available from my website… It’s loaded with ideas and tips to re-ignite a loving relationship and develop even more connection.  Sign up today and get your copy free.

http://topsecretwomensbusiness.com/

Yours Real and Raw,

Janelle Manton

Director, Top Secret Women’s Business

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If you looked up vulnerable in the dictionary the definition is described as being open to emotional harm, easily persuaded, failure and exposed to attack.  So how can being vulnerable or putting yourself in vulnerable situations possibly be your greatest source of inner strength?

What if you were to overcome ‘emotional harm’ and ‘potential failure’ and discovered the greatest love of your life because you dared to risk emotional harm to get it? Is that not powerful? Doesn’t that take a lot of courage?

What if, instead of failing in life’s ventures because you didn’t even try, you took the risk and enjoyed wild success? Wouldn’t it be worse to never have tried in the first place? What could be worse than staying where you are and complaining about it?

Have you ever experienced the dynamic excitement and adrenalin rush of doing something thrilling, perhaps the one thing that made the activity so exciting int he first place was that there was an element of you having to be vulnerable and in an apparent dangerous situation in order to have the experience.  If you never put yourself in a vulnerable situation, you’ll never know the glory and excitement that is on the other side.

If you never put your heart on the line, open it, give it all, feel the fear and love anyway, you will never enjoy the absolute abundance of love that awaits you. Your partner will love only half of you, the half you choose to reveal? Is that real love?

Being vulnerable is opening your heart and exposing who you really are,regardless of what it might cost you.  It is your most authentic self being revealed. There is a beautiful real and rawness I love that comes from being so truthful.  You see we are all the same. Everyone feels vulnerable, everyone has fears and insecurities about something… So if everyone was just being themselves, saying how it is for them, being who they are on the inside then everyone would be al lot happier and far less stressed.

It takes a lot of work ‘editing’ ourselves to blend into what we think other people will accept and love.  Most people walk around with fear of being rejected or not being accepted and this is a major problem.  The lack of self confidence in our society is in epic proportions….For fear of being vulnerable?

So what if you just said ‘fuck it’ and did what you wanted (in an ecological way of course), became who you really desired, said what you really felt, wore what you love the most, climbed out of conformity and totally fell in love with the strength and rawness of you being you? Do you think being vulnerable would be such a problem then?

I love vulnerability, it’s like a hit of adrenalin for me… If  an opportunity presents itself, be it a moment to share my feelings or do something outrageous and it brings up stuff for me that makes me feel fearful or vulnerable, exposed… I know without a doubt I must do it, whatever it is (realising I have good judgement and wouldn’t jump off a building or anything silly like that)….   WHY? Because EVERY time I do something that pushes me out of my comfort zone and into the abys of unknowns, I grow as a woman and I learn and I become even stronger and more in love with myself.

What if it back fires or goes horribly wrong? The only thing that could go wrong is you not learning from the experience, then it becomes something for you to complain about or feel miserable about.  You could even say, “I tried that once and it didnt work” and never do it again… A travesty in the making!!!  I bravely shared my feelings with someone recently and resisted feeling hurt when he didn’t feel the same, I’m sure I’m not the only one that has happened to, right?

What I learned is a very important lesson for all of us…. Giving must be without expectation of return. When you share something from your heart it is just that, nothing more, nothing less. The power we seek comes from your ability to be vulnerable in that moment and courageously give without expectation, simply because that is your truth, it’s how you feel.  When you come from the space of love and truth, being vulnerable is beautiful, it’s luscious and divine and extremely attractive, it’s unpretentious and so ‘real’….

And most importantly, as a woman you will grow and flourish the more you strive to be vulnerable.  Feel the fear and do it anyway… And enjoy the many gifts that come your way. I dare you! xxx

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

Top Secret Women’s Business

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But times changed, we grew up and our friends moved in different directions, some got married, moved overseas and I became a mother.  My desire to drink all the time quickly stopped with pregnancy, then months of sleepless nights then just plain old exhaustion and this underlying sense of responsibility.

As time rolled on and I became ‘normal’ again I realised that the desire to drink alcohol all the time had completely gone. What I found instead was in order to feel like I was bonding with my husband,  I needed to drink with him.  I eventually became resentful because I didn’t want to drink everyday in order to connect with him…

As time went by, complacency kicked in, amongst other challenges and the need to have some serious conversations became obvious. It was then that I got really shitty because it didn’t matter how much I told him he ‘changed’ when he drank, he didn’t believe me.  I got tired of his voice raising unreasonably, tired of the constant debate and unrealistic view points on our declining connection, tired of drinking every night instead of connecting with me, the woman he was supposed to love.

He never hit me, always went to work and achieved great results and cared and provided for our children, so how could he possibly have a problem with alcohol management?  The fact that it was a problem for me and our ability to be really connected didn’t seem to matter enough.  I  thought if he wasn’t going to put the time in to talk to me and discuss our future ‘like he cared’, I wasn’t going to feel like being intimate with him.

So our sex life was also impacted, he stayed up late watching TV, I went to bed early hoping he’d follow me… Now please don’t get me wrong, he is an honourable and great man, we simply opposed ideas of sobriety and intimacy!

A relationship can only sustain this kind of imbalance for so long… Something has got to give. In our case it was me – for many reasons most of which were my own, I left.  The challenge I now see in a lot of relationships as a coach, is how much alcohol is like wearing a disguise, it hides the real you with a mask of  happy, sad, uninhibited, grouchy, fearlessness… In any case the real emotions are avoided.

Daily alcohol consumption is a betrayal of self and is a false layer of protection that hides the real truth of your emotions… How can anyone have a real relationship when someone  is always partying, numbed by the subtly of one too many glasses of wine?

Beside the physical side effects of long term drinking; increased weight, heart disease risks, diabetes etc… The emotional side effects could very well cost you more. How about your family? Your job? Your self esteem and confidence are impacted? What about your creativity and your intuition?  Your judgement is impaired, your reality shifts and with regular drinking can actually stay wacked (that’s a professional term).

All of these life giving elements are numbed when you drink alcohol. So ask yourself, what do you have to lose, how good does it really make you feel? Are you being your authentic self? Are you making decisions that empower you or take your power away? And who wants drunk sex all the time anyway?

A true Goddess and Warrior deserves to feel everything – intimately…your body, emotions, your spirit at play, you mind racing with anticipation your skin tingling…

Some of my friends might argue that they still see me drink every now and then, so who am i to talk about not drinking… But the difference is I only drink every now and then, a special occasion you might say.  I hope that you may enjoy the infrequency of a glass every now and then and be the power house of clarity, love and intimacy in the meantime.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

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